(PURPOSE)


Happiness isn‘t the main goal in life. It is fleeting. Valuable, essential but fleeting. Apparently.
Mindfulness and finding purpose is what could lead us to absolution in the end. That‘s what the trend seems to be anyway.

And I don‘t disagree at all, it does make perfect sense and it is a theory I can identify with.

But.

Finding purpose has proven to be an extreme stressor in my life. Well, obviously the key to fulfillment  isn‘t going to be just lying around - that would be too easy. Still, I would have hoped to be closer to an answer by now. I wish that I could give my 16 year old self a somewhat more sufficient answer to the question I already posed in my diary over 5 years ago: What am I supposed to do with my life?
Instead of an answer I only have doubt, feel like I have taken a wrong turn but not sure because I don‘t know what the alternative route is.

Probably I am greedy in expecting that at 21 I could know where my purpose lies. It is just very hard witnessing teenagers launch start ups and lead organisations that seem so much more meaningful than anything I have ever done.

Sigh.

However, on the bright side: I have come to realise that my purpose isn‘t going to come and find me whilst I‘m in bed wondering what my purpose is.
And that is a good place to start.

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